Free to Be Me

All of my exams are officially now done! Only a few stress-free class activities left in my week. It feels so good to have time to do things that I actually want to do. Like starting a blog. I now feel free to be me! Stress related to school can sometimes make me a monster and I don’t even know who I am sometimes I become so obsessed with being perfect, getting everything right, and getting good grades. It’s important to remember mistakes are ok. I’m still learning. But I can relax and be myself. Now it is officially time to get into the holiday spirit. This past Sunday Nick and I went searching for a new church in the area. It was an interesting service to say the least. It was the first of it’s kind that I’d ever been to. It was an experiential service. We did a guided visualization meditation, there was a dramatic reading, videos, we lit candles, and poured symbolic tears into a collective pool. The topic was even more nontraditional- about being down at Christmas. It’s a time where we are supposed to feel happy, cheering, warm, and joyful yet for many it’s a time that brings out so much pain. As you get older that becomes more of the case. Christmas doesn’t have the magic it once did of Santa Claus and surprises waiting on Christmas morning. As we’ve gotten older it’s also become a reminder of things we have lost. I thought it was a touchy service and good reminder that Christmas isn’t about that we feel happy and excited but that we have joy for the ultimate gift we’ve been given and that it’s ok to mourn our loses as well. The service was a little drastic for our first time but we hopefully see what a typical service is like but regardless it wasn’t the contemporary service we are looking for. So the search continues…But I can’t wait to start celebrating the holiday season with all the people I love so much!